Sunday, July 10, 2011

Am i really bi- sexual or is this one of those teen phases?

Im so confused. I do like guys, but or about 3- 4 months now ive been on the fence about whether or not im bi-sexual (15 yrs old, female). I have told 3 of my closest (girl) friends about this, and 2 of the 3 are supportive, one in particular. Lets call her A. I told A that i felt like i wouldnt know for sure if i was bi unless i experimented. At first she didnt really say anything about it, but then a couple weeks later she told me that she thought she might be bi too, and that she'd be willing to experiment with me. It was all planned. She was going to sleep over my house and we were going to mess around. But then her parents wouldnt let her because they didnt know my parents, which i understand. So, we both decided that it would be for the best if we kind of forgot about it, but we continued to talk. Then one day, she texted me and told me that she has feelings for me, and thinks im hot and stuff. Now, im not into her like that, shes not my type. I only flirted with her so we could mess around and figure this out. So after she told me, we flirted. Even though we knew we wouldnt be messing around anytime soon. But then, she got (and still has) a boyfriend. Which was totally fine with me. It gave me time to work on issues within myself (my father passed away a year and a half ago). We still continued to be friends and talk because after all, she was in my gym class. Then, last week, I asked her where we stood bcuz i wasnt sure. She told me that she didnt like me anymore, and i was fine with that. But then, that night I had a dream about her. An erotic one. Ive never had an erotic dream about anyone before. I told her I had something to tell her that might make things weird and asked if she wanted to know. She said sure tell me anything. So, I told her about hte dream, and she confessed to liking me still! Now, before this dream, i was really convinced I didnt like her that way, that she was just an experimental buddy, and that was that. But now, I have no clue how I feel about her. In reality, it doesnt feel like I like her that way, but then again, theres that dream. That has to count for something right? Anyway, we agreed agian that we were going to experiment, and since its summer vacation, thats gona be easy. But the past few days, I cant take it anymore! I want to know for sure right now if im bi or not. The only thing is, even if i am, I dont see it going anywhere with a female. I want to get married, have a husband, and have kids. Kids that are a combination of us BOTH. So my question is; Based on what I told you here, does it sound like i might be bi- sexual, or is this just teenage hormones at work? (SORRY THIS IS SOOO LONG!)

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